Where will I put my shame?

Hi there, it's Olivia!

I watched the movie, “Alice Darling,” on my flight to NYC. I won’t spoil the story, but the plot is based on a psychologically abusive relationship. As you already know, I can relate to this experience. What really resonated with me was the question posed at the end: “Where will I put my shame?”

Where do I put my shame? I have written about “shame” before. The shame that we are taught. The shame that is put onto us. What about the shame we put on ourselves? This is, by far, the most damaging form of shame.

There are many ways that one can self-sabotage. It appears in the form of alcoholism, drug abuse, self-mutilation, overeating, gambling, sex addiction, and more. This is an epidemic in our country and world. Why? Because we all feel shame.

Above are the most talked about examples, but we don’t often discuss self-deprecating conversations we have with ourselves.

“How could I have been so stupid?”

“Why am I so fat?“

“Maybe I am a bad girlfriend?“

“Am I really a slut?“

What other people tell us can be extremely damaging, but what we tell ourselves can be fatal. The constant ticker tape in our minds eats away at our health and well-being until it manifests in the form of disease.

As much as I am logically aware of this, the recurrence of that mental replay is slow to die. I am a constant work in progress, and this is my greatest challenge. Although, I am also rising to the occasion and determined to master my own subconscious.

What about you? Where do you put your shame?

Until next time,

❤️ Olivia