The Narcissist

Hi There, It’s Olivia

This week was our big presentation of the Summer line to the company. As the head designer, I led the presentation, showing each item and explaining details and the inspiration behind each.

Before the presentation, Kate announced to me in front of the design assistants, “We ordered lunch, but I did not have the budget to order lunch for you Olivia”.

“Oh ok” I said. “Who did you order lunch for?“

“Hmm, Katherine, JoJo, Lyla, Samantha, Andrea, and me of course” Kate said.

“So, I am the only person that was not included in the lunch order. “I said.

“Yes” said Kate “but I have some sushi in the fridge from yesterday that I didn’t eat. You are welcome to have it.”

I smiled and said “Thank you so much for the offer, but I can get my own lunch. However, I will be late for the meeting as a result. I will let you explain why to the group.”

“Oh, before you go, make sure that you speed things up in the presentation. You are too slow and take too long with each style.” Kate said with a stone face. In front of the design assistants.

This was typical of Kate. Constantly coming up with new ways to try to diminish me or knock me down and the funny thing is that I have been complimented numerous times in my career about the strength of my presentation skills. Actually, that totally makes sense why she would critique it. Because it is a strength, and that is threatening to Kate.

Why do some people do this? Use their power to knock you down? Jealousy? Insecurity? Because they can? In Kate’s case, I would say all three. Which is exacerbated by her unwillingness to accept her age. She was a pretty woman. Before she started messing with her looks. She does everything to recapture her youth. Botox, facelifts, fancy spa weeks. You can always tell when she has had something done because her eyebrows end up next to her scalp. So, on top of my youth (to her 37 was young) my talent, and gregarious personality were a constant rub for her.

I find that the word “narcissism” tends to be overused. Some people can just be jerks without being narcissists. But in Kate’s case, I must say that it is an accurate description. She is a charming gas lighter that must always be the most important person in the room. Anyone that challenges that will meet her wrath and she will stop at nothing to destroy them.

The problem is that Kate needs me. Because I make her look good as the leader of the design department. Because I am good at my job. And everyone knows that. Which kills her. And until she retires or decides to move on, I will continue to be the target of her flame-throwing. And until I decide my next move, I will have to find ways to deflect those attempts to reduce me.

It takes its toll, but I keep reminding myself that it has everything to do with her, and nothing to do with me. Except that I am so fabulous! 😊

Until next time,

❤️

Olivia